Lost in Inebriation

Title: Lost in Inebriation

by Christina A.

Disclaimer: The members of SG-1 don’t belong to me, darn it! MGM and a lot of other lucky people own them.
Spoilers: Menace
Summary: Daniel needs to let loose a bit after the end of Menace. Jack’s solution is rather… well… humorous.

Summary: This is a ‘tag’ in a way to the episode ‘Menace’. I was rather intrigued by how Jack would help Daniel handle Reese’s death, and for once, I took a more ‘interesting’ route.

Lost in Inebriation
by Christina A.

“A ‘nuffer one,” Daniel told the bartender. One hand was securely holding onto the bar while the other was uncontrollably waving the number one to anyone who would notice.

The bartender looked at the inebriated man’s friends and lifted a brow in question.

“Go for it,” Jack said, getting a rather sick pleasure out of seeing his best friend hammered. “Line ‘em up for all of us. This round’s on me.”

“Franks,” Daniel said and then laughed at the way he said it. “Gracias, Merci, Danke…”

“You’re welcome,” Jack interrupted, though Daniel just continued saying ‘thank you’ in every language he could muster. When he ran out of those, he blended them.

The bartender approached Teal’c and attempted to give him a beer. The Jaffa lifted up his hand and said, “I believe I am the designated driver for this evening, so I will have a soda, please.”

Daniel nodded vigorously and his hand landed firmly on Sam’s shoulder. “He ish, ya know. He’sh the desi… design… the drive…” Here he had to stop to laugh at himself. Patting Sam on the shoulder again, he finished, “He’sh taken’ me home.” Turning his attention back to the bar, he took a long pull on his beer.

The bartender couldn’t help but raise a brow again. The beautiful blonde definitely didn’t look like a male to him.

“He’s a little tipsy,” Sam explained. “He had a hard day at work.”

“Nah,” Daniel said, “Norm… Ave… Reg’lar old day. Same shit. ‘Ways same shit.” He laughed again and spun on his seat to look at Jack. The action almost caused him to fall off his barstool and he ended up having to be held up by Sam and Jack.

“Perhaps we should move to more secure seating? There is a booth available,” Teal’c offered.

“Good idea,” Sam agreed.

Both Teal’c and Jack had to help their inebriated friend to the new table. Daniel ran his hand along the cheap vinyl, almost admiring it. “Pretty,” he said, overly announcing the word. “Where’s m’ beer?”

“Here,” Jack offered. It really had to be wrong to derive so much pleasure from Daniel’s drunken state. Very wrong, but very funny.


A couple hours later, SG-1 left the bar, and it took both Jack and Teal’c to move Daniel from the bar to Teal’c’s car. Sam and Jack settled in the back. As they drove away from the bar, Daniel’s face pressed against the window and he was passed out cold.

“Four beers,” Jack quipped. “It’s a wonder he’s still standin’.”

“You did encourage him, Sir.” Sam looked rather concerned. Daniel normally didn’t make it past two beers, let alone the four he had. Though she had to admit that it was cute when he started singing along with Faith Hill while they were in the bar.

“Well,” Jack smiled devilishly, “we could have stopped at three but we would have missed the concert. ‘Sides, Danny Boy needs to relax. He’s damn uptight sometimes.”

No one in the vehicle debated that.

Teal’c dropped Sam off at her house first, giving her his explicit promise that he would take care of Daniel. The archaeologist hadn’t moved since resting his face on the window. It had presented a funny picture, actually. Though Sam couldn’t help but worry. It was more his state of mind that bothered her than the fact that he was drunk. She hadn’t been lying when she told the bartender that he’d had a tough day. He was hurting at the loss of Reese.

“We got him, Mom,” Jack teased when she seemed to linger with the door open. “Enjoy your weekend.”

“Yes, sir,” she said, smiling slightly at the ‘mom’ comment. She shut the door and watched the vehicle drive away. As it did, she decided to call Daniel tomorrow afternoon. Just to be sure.


The sound of the door shutting caused Daniel to jump. Instinctively, he wiped the drool from his cheek. “Where we at?” he asked, his speech still slurred.

“We have just taken MajorCarter to her residence.”

“Cool,” Daniel said, leaning forward to try to turn on the radio. He fumbled with a button or two and when he figured out how to turn it on, the music was blaring.

With speed unlike any he’d yet to display, Teal’c rapidly reached down to decrease the volume. At the same time, Jack covered his ears and cried out, “Damnit, Danny.”

“Sorry!” Daniel screamed though he did that at the same time that the volume softened. “Sorry,” he said again in his normal voice.

“You are fine, DanielJackson.”

“I’m ine… ineb… drunk,” Daniel finally managed to explain. “Lots and lots of beers.” He chuckled. His glasses had been askew since he awoke. Just noticing, he straightened them. “Lots and lots and lots of beers.”

“Oh for cryin’ out loud, Daniel. You had four. FOUR,” Jack pointed out. “Four in as many hours.”

“So,” Daniel shot back, though with the slur it sounded like ‘Show’. That caused a slight case of the giggles.

Teal’c lifted an eyebrow, not comprehending what his friend found so humorous. Pulling into O’Neill’s driveway, he said, “Have a pleasant weekend, O’Neill.”

“Yep. You gonna be okay with him?”

“Indeed, I will. I shall take him inside and wait for him to sleep.”

“Shouldn’t take long,” Jack said, hopping out of the car. “Catchya later.”

“Bye, bye,” Daniel said, waving to his friend. As they backed out of the drive, he said to Teal’c. “You know, I don’t need no babysitter.”

“You do not,” Teal’c agreed. “You do, however, need a friend.”

“K,” Daniel acquiesced easily.

When they reached Daniel’s apartment building, he did need Teal’c’s help getting out of the vehicle and into his apartment. It took him three tries to unlock the door before Teal’c took the keys and let them in. Daniel ineptly navigated the dark apartment, nearly tripping twice. “Teal’c?” Daniel asked, emphasizing the end of his friend’s name.

Turning on a light, he replied, “Yes, DanielJackson.” Teal’c had patience that knew no rival, especially where his friends were concerned. This particular one had it rough the past few years, and Teal’c felt a certain duty to help… because of Sha’re and because Daniel internalized everything he felt. O’Neill and Carter expressed their emotions. Jackson did not… except, perhaps, when he was drunk.

“Sum-times,” Daniel began kicking off his shoes, “I hate m’job. Wanna just be laughed at by other arch…logists.” He fumbled with the buttons of his shirt. “All ‘ready dead,” he said. “All them. Don’t hafta watch ‘em die.”

Teal’c said nothing, merely let his friend talk. Obviously Daniel meant that the all the subjects of his work were already dead and not the other archaeologists who laughed at him.

“Kill, kill, kill, ki…” Daniel mumbled, waving his hands around in demonstration.

The Jaffa knew Daniel was referring to his most recent loss… Reese. He still was unable to get beyond losing her as he had.

“Shucks,” Daniel said. He paused, smiled, and laughed. “S’okay. Meant shucks… s-ucks.” He laughed again. “Y’know what I mean.”

“Indeed, I do.”

“Indeed, you do,” he said in a nearly perfect impression of Teal’c, if the Jaffa had been drunk of course. When Teal’c merely raised an eyebrow in response, Daniel laughed again and stumbled to the bedroom. He fell face first on the bed and all he knew after that was sweet oblivion.

Covering him up, the Jaffa made his way into the living room and laid down on Daniel’s couch. He had the distinct impression that his friend was going to wake up with a headache and would be in need of assistance in the morning.

The End

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