Title: Channel Surfing
Fandom: Stargate SG-1
Characters: Jonas and Teal’c
Rating: PG
Category: Humor, Friendship
Summary: Jonas and Teal’c watch TV together.
Disclaimer: Don’t own them, darn it!
Archive: Well… here!
Summary: Jonas and Teal’c eat dinner together, watch some TV, and Jonas freaks out.
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Channel Surfing
by Christina A.
The two base-bound members of SG-1 took their late evening meal in Jonas’ room. It was customary for them when they returned from a mission in the evening to grab a tray in the mess hall and bring it to Jonas’ room and watch some television together. Teal’c did it mostly for the company, though the Jaffa never truly admitted that was his reason for doing it.
Jonas, though he still spent a great deal of time puttering around the base alone, was openly expressive about his happiness over sharing the evening meal with Teal’c. His friend always let him be the one to decide what to watch. Though he preferred The Weather Channel, when Teal’c was with him, he always made an effort to watch something neither of them had seen before.
“What are we going to be viewing tonight, JonasQuinn?” Teal’c asked as he set his tray, heaping with food, on the table.
“Well, I was scanning the TV Guide Channel and they had an interesting show listed called an Infomercial. I thought maybe we’d see what it is about. It’s only a half hour long.”
Teal’c nodded. He could do anything for a half an hour, even watch… what Jonas called an Infomercial. Though he was curious. “What is an Infomercial?”
“Well, see, that’s what I don’t know. According to the listing, it’s a show about something called Total Gym.” At Teal’c’s look of confusion, Jonas tried to explain, “I’m not really sure what that is either.” He leaned across the table, picked up the guide, opened it to the page, and showed his friend. “The people in this show must use a gym. I’m thinking it must be a socialization program that centers around a gymnasium. Maybe it will supply helpful workout techniques.” When Teal’c looked at him with a raised brow, Jonas admitted, “It was mostly because I didn’t know what it was that I thought we’d watch. Unless, of course, you want to see something else.”
Teal’c shook his head, though he did see a hockey game listed. He had a feeling he knew what O’Neill would be watching tonight. Still, he always let Jonas choose and tonight would be no different. “Then we watch this Total Gym show.”
Jonas smiled widely, grabbed the remote, and turned on the TV to the proper channel. The mound of food on his tray equaled that of Teal’c’s, though people stopped saying anything to the Kelownan about it. He smiled over at Teal’c as the program began.
“Hello, I’m Chuck Norris…”
“And I’m Christy Brinkley and we’re here to tell you about the Total Gym.”
Jonas and Teal’c shared a look when a price and a phone number appeared at the bottom of the screen. Jonas’ brows furrowed in confusion. “I don’t get it. Sam said that television shows generally had a plot. What’s the point of this show? They’re actually talking to the camera. It almost feels like…”
“A commercial?” Teal’c supplied, one brow raised as he watched the person named Chuck Norris demonstrate the Total Gym.
“Yeah…” Jonas picked up the turkey sandwich he’d ordered. It was slathered with Mayo and tomatoes. Just the way he liked it. He picked up a pickle and took a bite before looking over to his friend. “They want us to buy one of these?” he asked with his mouth half-full of food.
“It would appear so.”
Jonas sighed and picked up the remote. “Well I don’t need one of those. I get my workouts here… and I must say, my abs look fine.”
Teal’c looked down at the food on Jonas’ tray and then back to his and agreed. “As do mine. Shall we find something else to view?”
Jonas stopped at another channel where they witnessed a hand rubbing a compound of some kind on a beautiful vehicle. His eyes opened wide in shock as he watched someone else ignite a flamethrower. “Oh cool! An action flick.”
“These are much like what we do here, though the violence is obviously staged,” Teal’c commented.
“True, but I like them.”
“Indeed.”
Jonas watched in awe as someone else doused the vehicle with gasoline and the man with the flamethrower set it on fire. “Holy Hannah!”
Teal’c smiled at the use of JacobCarter’s favorite explicative. “It is indeed impressive.”
Jonas’ elation quickly turned to a frown when a voiceover came across the television explaining that Durawax would protect your vehicle to upwards around an amazingly high degree of Fahrenheit. Looking back over at Teal’c, he sighed. “Okay, so it wasn’t an action flick. It was another infomercial.”
“Agreed. But this one, I admit, would please ColonelO’Neill.”
Jonas snickered. “They tried to blow something up?”
Teal’c merely bowed his head in response, though there was a small smile on his face.
Jonas picked up the remote again and flipped through a few more channels. He was almost growing frustrated when a man wearing extremely short shorts grasped his attention. He was standing in front of several women, his back to them, and seemed to be leading them in some kind of dancing. He paused, his mouth hanging open and a spoon full of pudding halfway to his mouth.
“What is that?” Teal’c questioned, his voice filled with confusion.
“I have no idea,” Jonas responded, shaking his head hard enough that a dollop of pudding fell onto his sandwich.
“Alright, Ladies, let’s burn that fat. And one… and two… and three…”
The background was filled with pleasant music, though neither man watching could acknowledge it for being stunned by what they were seeing.
“I do believe,” Teal’c finally broke the silence by saying, “that this man has more energy than even you do JonasQuinn.”
Jonas looked over at his friend, studying him for a long moment. “Oh that’s funny, Teal’c,” Jonas said, catching the glint of humor in his eyes. “Oh, yeah, Jaffa humor… so very funny.”
Teal’c looked back at the screen, making a mental note to question O’Neill about the possibility of getting Jonas this ‘Sweatin’ to the Oldies’ tape as a gift. Kelwonans and humans celebrated many occasions where gifts were exchanged. O’Neill once even told him about a tradition called ‘gag gifts’. Teal’c memorized the telephone number and decided… he would get Jonas this as a ‘gag gift’.
“What is he doing now? Look at that!! He’s running around like some deranged…” Jonas said in surprise. “Did he just HUG the camera? What is THAT?”
Teal’c smiled to himself. He’d obviously been spending too much time with O’Neill.
“TEAL’C, WHAT IS THAT?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Oh yes, he was going to purchase it, though he believed that he would get more joy out of giving it than Jonas would at receiving it.
“TEAL’C!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
The End
Tags: gen, humor, jonas quinn, light, rating: pg, teal'c